Confession: I am a feminist.

I think I’ve been one since I was a very young girl. I always wondered why I had to be treated… differently.

I love men. I think they deserve respect and admiration (when they’ve earned it) BUT so do I. I, as a woman, want to be treated with respect too. I don’t want to work 80 hours a week and then, come home (with you chilling on the couch) and be expected to immediately serve you. I don’t want to be talked down to in a business meeting while possibly being smarter than many there.  I don’t want to tell you 10 times I’m a DOCTOR and have you keep calling me Miss or ma’am or nurse or sweetie. My not being married, shouldn’t mean I have to prove or validate “why” I haven’t done it yet or why I don’t have kids or etc. It’s not that I don’t desire those things… but why is that a judgement?

I’m not a man hater. I just want equality… I love being treated like a lady and will gladly treat a man like a man but… when it comes down to it, I don’t want to be OR act “inferior” to make someone else feel worthy. 🙂 Haven’t we learned… feeling worthy is an INTERNAL feeling. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, ” No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” That should apply to both men and women. A woman’s success or power should hold no bearings on a man’s self esteem.

Feminism: a collection of movements and ideologies aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women.

I do realize that feminism has a bad connotation. It’s something that most people feel you shouldn’t be proud of and I don’t go around screaming I’m a feminist… because who knows… I’m sure I don’t agree with ALL of their beliefs either. I’m multifaceted. I can believe many different things at once, if I want. No one knows the whole truth or what’s “right or wrong”.  As a black woman… my experience is different than many. It’s part of my life. I will accept that.  I simply feel that while it’s nice to have some equality in things [work, social, political, etc].  At the same time,  feel free to open my door, pay for my meal, take me out, protect me, buy me flowers… just as long as you won’t think I have to be forever indebted or “owe” you something as a result.  

I fought with the idea of being “too pretty” vs fade into the background for a long time because I mean, who will take you seriously if you are dressed like a beauty queen in the operating room or wearing stilettos in the doctors office. Yet, if you LIKE looking pretty and wearing cute clothes, why should that mean people automatically assume you’re not as smart as they? And THAT’S the issue… like she says in the speech, men do not have those concerns. They usually don’t have to worry about being too masculine and probably don’t get up each morning wondering “what should I put on to make sure I look handsome to the ladies today… but not TOO handsome? I want to be taken seriously.”  A woman should have the right to be sexy,  powerful, a bombshell, be sensitive, cry, be submissive, be shy, be whatever it is she would like to be… and at the same time be given respect. 

My two cents.  

Anyway… Good speech below.  and also Go Beyonce for putting her on the song…

“I woke up like dis…” Flawless.

Click here: Wonderful Speech [ we should all be feminists]

One thought on “Confession:

  1. Awesome!!! I agree with you completely!! I, also, am a feminist! But, as you said, the word is usually used as a derogatory term ! And it seems that there is a constant struggle to change society's perception of women who merely want equal rights! Thank you for your comments and stance!

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