Thank you so much to all those who have read my blog and enjoyed it! I am back again, sharing my thoughts after a very long day at work. As a psychiatrist, I often have to take on the stress, anxiety, grief, and pain of other people and help them to cope. I don’t think much thought is given to the aftermath of those transactions. For instance, I am still a human being with emotions and life experiences of my own. Therefore, I have to find a way to deal with their pain AND mine… and still be functional and ready to be a help to those who need me! And, I wouldn’t change my career choice for a minute.
|Hilton – Montego Bay on a stormy day|
So, the point of this post… is to share something I’ve learned along the way. Oh and side note, I am a psychiatrist (M.D.) but this blog is mostly my thoughts and how I interpret the world. I spend all day giving to others so I may be a bit selfish here… and the topics will apply to me (or at least be interesting to me). LOL Well, until there is a huge following and people start making requests or something, but for now… PS: I’m not giving medical advice, don’t try to sue me (I’m broke!) and I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts and experiences about life.
OK, back to the point!
The FIRST thing we give away (Surviving the Storm)
and by “storm”… I mean those things that come sweep our fairytale off it’s pretty little feet.
I would like to propose that we ALL have faced hard times, curve balls, situations where we have been side tracked. For better or worse, we all have found ways to cope. Some ways are healthy (exercise-within reason, writing, spending time with family) and some are not (excessive exercise, drinking, smoking, drugs, etc). Have you ever noticed that when you are stressed, the first thing you give up and/or away is the VERY thing that makes you happy or brings you joy? This is also the very thing that would have made you better able to cope with the stressor.
Here’s an example (a hypothetical one, of course); I love running and dancing. I have to work 80 hours this week and therefore need to make time for the essentials. I can’t give up work, and I can’t stop bathing, eating, taking care of my pup. I shouldn’t slack on sleep (but I might if things get rough) soooooo…. what am I going to give up first? The dancing! And I will in fact have more time. I will also be moodier, irritable, and I might notice that my life is becoming less enjoyable.
- Did I need to give up something? Possibly. I also, could have said ” I am going to be very busy this next week and no matter what this is going to be hard for me. I should make an effort to keep something fun in my day. I’ll still dance/run, but this week I’ll run 20 mins instead of my usual hour.”
Ok, maybe that example meant absolutely nothing to you. 🙂 I’m sure you have a better example that would apply to YOUR life on how you give up the very thing that would keep you sane and in the end you are the one who suffers.
Take some time for yourself and find out what brings you joy. You have got to be your OWN advocate when it comes to being happy and enjoying this ONE shot we have at this thing called life.
I met someone who was so proud that he gave his all to everyone else. Yet, he was constantly depressed or sad or lonely. I often pose this question, “If you give everything you have to be there for someone, WHO will be there for you?”
Think about it. People don’t know your limit. Only you do. You can not expect someone to say “you know I think Becca has had enough. I won’t ask her to take me to the mall today, she seems stressed.” If someone asks for a favor and you say yes, she will assume you meant yes and allow you to do it. So, set your own boundaries and be your own advocate.
|Same Room view, Hilton on a BEAUTIFUL day. There is beauty after the storm. Keep holding on!|
Questions to consider: Do you have a plan for how you want to be AFTER this stressor ends? Do you foresee an end? Can you think of one thing you can do for yourself on a daily basis that would bring you joy in the meanwhile?
There is hope for you if you’re hurting! Don’t be afraid to seek help, if you need it. And… for everyone else, take some time to put yourself FIRST! You are worth it!